What did I miss?

Today I realized I missed it. I missed a moment. I missed a window of opportunity.

I’m a ‘moment’ kind of person, if you didn’t know that about me. I think it’s part of the reason why I take so many pictures of life. I am afraid of missing moments, and it’s those that mean so much to me. If I could capture every one, I would. I love considering each one as it’s own entity, with it’s own significance and it’s own meaning. I guess I figured somewhere along the line that because I love moments so much, I wouldn’t possibly miss them, especially the big ones. Then it made me think of how many things I do in fact miss in life.

Really though, how often do we miss our flight, how often do we miss saying goodbye? Have we ever wished we had said something to a stranger? I hear echoes of people saying “did you see that?!” where inevitably I had to reply “no, I missed it!” Maybe it was the perfect shot on goal in the championship game, maybe it was the incomplete pass, 4th down, 2 seconds left in the game on the 1-yard line. Maybe it was a shooting star, or a child’s first steps.

I remember being in Jr. High wondering how to tell a boy that I liked him – what a dilemma! You’d talk with your friends, come up with a great plan, only to find out that he started liking some other girl because she told him before you did. Life was over – for maybe a day, or a week depending on how cute the guy was. When you’re 12 that is a pretty big moment. I missed it again.

As silly as some of those things are, some of the things we miss in life are so poignant, so very necessary. The fact of the matter is, they may not ever come around again. Life isn’t A’float Sushi in Pasadena, CA. Sushi floats by on boats. If you saw something you liked but it passed by, it’s sure to be back again.

All of this to say, I’ve missed some moments lately, and I’ve watched many other people do much of the same. The difficulty in it all is whether or not those missed moments were meant to be missed, or if it was negligence on my part. Most often it’s the latter, and my head falls into my hands as I wished I would have done something different, or done anything at all.


The only kind of remedy I can come up with is to live boldly. Fear is what keeps me still, it’s what keeps me quiet. The way I see it is, I’ve already missed out on too many moments because of some ridiculous and intangible feeling. I think I’ve missed enough.

A few I didn’t miss:

Friday:

I sat in our conference room to get some info from a new client. We chatted, and then we stood up to leave. For some reason I had assumed that he was tall – not so. The look on my face couldn’t have been good when I stood to find him more than 5 inches shorter than I. I was totally caught off guard – I am sure he was by the look on my face.

Saturday:

As I stood in the line at the OCC bookstore I watched as people placed their books on the counter, handed the cashier their plastic, sign and walk out. She kept the same script until I walked up. When she took my American Express she laughed and said “Hey! You’re my first American Express today!” I’m not sure what about it made her face light up – but it did, and mine did too.

Sunday:

I sat at CPK across from a pretty great person. I tore off the paper from the tip of my straw and blew the other portion off and hit him straight in the eye. I felt like a kid. I spend the rest of the lunch laughing so hard my stomach hurt and tears were starting to form. It was the best lunch I’ve had in a long time.

I think I love moments because they can’t be undone. (As much as I hate that the ones you missed can’t be undone either). No one can take them away, they are ours to have, to remember, to enjoy. I plan to do just that.