Thoughts about the Termites of the Soul

I wonder how much of myself I will still be in 10 years – in 20 years. While there are numerous things I long to be rid of in my life – I pray that I would never loose the sense of awareness that I have today. Perhaps it is because my mind is in a constant state of being molded and stretched – in hopes of its total transformation. Perhaps it is because I feel like I am in no ‘state’ of life at all – at least not like others seem to be (married, a mother, a child), and am therefore capable of viewing life through a totally different lens – if any lens at all. If it is naiveté - I would hope that even that would continue. I would rather be naïve enough to think that people can change then too stubborn to make the effort to do so.

While I find myself at the beginning of so many journey’s – recognizing every fault, shortcoming and struggle that I bring to the table – I hope that in 10 years I will still face those faults, shortcomings and struggles with a pliable mind and heart – and Lord willing, having realized I had made it a few more miles down the road.

Fr. Josiah at St. Andrews in Riverside, CA mentioned a man who said that while so many pray to ‘see God,’ he prayed that he would ‘see his sins’. Weeks later I cannot remove this idea from my head. Talk about transforming your life. I believe that the reason why so many are stuck in their pursuit of everything earthly is that they are unaware of their sins – and the very seriousness of the power to destroy that they carry. This is, of course, why we seem to find so many people make poor lifestyle choices and then claim to feel empty, in a state of despair or even worse still – purposeless or hopeless. It is imperative that we see sin in the right light – in other words: that we would see and be aware of every inch of it. How could we go about removing it from our lives if we never sought to see it in the first place?

In real estate there is always a termite inspection for homes, after which work must be completed in order to close escrow. I find it to be a perfect analogy. We can see the damage of the termites – sometimes it is even visible on the exterior of the structure. However, we rarely see the termites themselves without a hunt. We must go underneath the house, lift planks of wood etc. Then we find the problem that can be corrected.

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The same is true for our sin.

All that just to say that the idea of posing God with the request of revealing sin, revealing my sin, changes things. Most importantly, it bears with it humility. We can finally have an accurate view of ourselves. We will see our fallen state, our sinful nature in the light of the Cross of Christ. Change follows. I know that personally I am more apt to work on those things that I am familiar with as opposed to those that are foreign concepts. Uncertainty regarding sin fades, and the work begins. There was definitely a reason that there was sent to us a Helper [Holy Spirit] at Pentecost – in case there was any doubt.

“O heavenly King, O Comforter, the Spirit of truth, who art in all places and fillest all things; Treasury of good things and Giver of life: Come and dwell in us and cleanse us from every stain, and save our souls, O gracious Lord.”

May we never forget such things, and may we never grow too old to have both pliable minds and hearts.