Ray's wisdom

Today, my mind is different than it was 2 months ago. My thoughts, emotions, feelings, and my perspective in general has changed. Such a scary word that is to so many people, and admittedly, myself as well.

How I used to think played into how I listened to music. I was sitting at a Ray LaMontagne concert tonight at the Santa Barbara Bowl with my sister and it dawned on me. All of these songs that I had listened to over a short span of years that had meant so much to me then, had changed. The honest love song of trials and triumph - back then caused my heart to long after a future with just that. Songs of bitterness and hurt made me think about past relationships and made me feel somehow victorious. Oh, but not today. Today, I listened with a new perspective. One song that I loved from long ago meant so much more to me now than it ever could have then. Ray sang "Shelter" tonight and it hasn't left my mind since. It goes a little something like this:

   "Listen when all of this around us'll fall over I tell you what we're gonna do You will shelter me my love I will shelter you" 

I believe in this life we are made to shelter each other, from the 'storms' of life. We shelter our families, our friends, but most importantly is when we promise to shelter the one that we love for as long as we have breath. We promise to protect them - shelter from attack, to provide for them - offering a physical shelter, to love and encourage them - sheltering them from the mind's negativity and insecurities.

I love this concept so much because of it's simplicity. Sometimes it seems that all of the advice in the world is so complex and involves deep thought and steps. Not so with sheltering. Do you think in the middle of fight you'll be able to work through all of the 'steps' given to you by a book or a counselor? Life doesn't always allow us the luxury of time or circumstance to put those lovely theories to work. They sound great, but they won't get you very far.

If we could remember to just shelter each other, we could get out of our own way, we'd think of our partner first, we'd probably fight less, love more, and grow a healthy meaningful relationship.

Realizing that while it's a simple concept, it actually takes practice. A lot of it if you are me. We are born individuals. We are taught to be independent and to look out for ourselves. We guard, we distance, we fight. None of which are necessarily bad out in the big scary world that's out to get us, but can be completely damaging to a life shared.

Turns out, this whole new world for me (I mean, 'us') is a time to re-train my mind and how it reacts. I can't do what I'm used to, not because it isn't allowed, but because I want so badly to be of a sheltering mindset. I want Jason to know just  how I think about him and that is only possible when I literally act on that change. Really, because what is the point in being together forever if you can't know that this person will literally be next to you as your shelter when everything is falling around you.

Come to my house one day. I want it written and posted, you'll see. As long as we live we will have room to grow and can improve how we treat and react to others - most importantly to the one closest to you.

You will shelter me my love, I will shelter you.