When do we finally stop playing the victim and actually bring about change? I’ve struggled with this question for far too long it seems. Often, issues arrive and I find myself feeling down and depressed, claiming that I didn’t grow up in an environment that fostered the sharing of feelings or healthy problem solving techniques. I’ve felt lost in numerous situations when trying to figure out how to approach such things, even after studying them in college. There is just something about having a tangible example that seems to make all the difference.
Here I sit, without the wisdom that such experiences bring.
On my drive home tonight I couldn’t help but think that it is all just merely an excuse. My upbringing no longer dictates my life and who I will become, and yet, I allow it that very kind of control by playing it’s victim. I am the adult now, silly me resigning myself to what is expected. I can’t remember ever being OK with that kind of life – one that resigns it’s self to its expected detriment. That has never been me, and I won’t let it become that way.
Truth be told, I’m great at telling people that they are adults, and should no longer allow their parents mistakes and mishaps shape and define their person. Look who’s talking now.
Daily, I’m reminded of my shortcomings and areas in which I must grow to even begin to deserve the love that I’ve found.
If I know one thing right now, I know that I’m done making those same excuses.
Yes, that feels good.
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