The 2nd time around I'll know better.

So says the poor bloke who stepped into my office to wreak havoc on my peace of mind this afternoon. The man is 44 years old and really believes he has life figured out. Today, he decided he would pass on some of his acquired 'wisdom' to me. This is what I got out of it:

1. You will not marry the one you are with when you are 23 years old.

2. IF you happen to beat the odds and get hitched, don't worry, it won't last.

3. The longer you are alone the better you'll be with someone.

4. We should always take the easy route. Why run 70 miles when you could run 40?

5. Something magical happens when you are 35 - you wake up knowing exactly what you want.

6. Being enamored with someone is a bad thing.

7. If you are a woman under the age of 30, you must be unrealistic, obsessive, and blinded by idealism.

I could go on... and on... but I won't. Clearly, you can see that the man is a genius. He should write a book, or 10 of them, on how to be the ultimate douche bag by preying on young adults to avoid your own insecurities.

I will admit this is a bit of a harsh post, but after being patronized by such a person, I fear I lack the self control to not be affected by it. First, it was frustration and defeat. Then, confident and thankful. Lastly, empathetic and sad. This man was tearing down my ideals, and my belief that I can actually veer away from statistics and be the exception and not the rule. When I get married one day, it will be forever. The plan is to every day be a woman that is deserving of the man who promises himself to me, to respect him, to love and support him, and continue to grow with and invest in that relationship as long as I walk this earth. That is my plan, and there is no plan B, no backup - nothing. If I get married tomorrow, or in 10 years, that plan will not change.

All of that was going through my mind and as soon as he left the office I felt horrible for him. I'm sure he didn't plan to get divorced, and I'm sure that everything in his life is exactly how he would have wanted it because admitting that it wasn't would be far more difficult, far more vulnerable. I am sad that he thinks what he lived has to be the norm and that it can't ever be improved on. I'm sad that he feels like a marriage of 40 years is greater than one that is 70 years because it is easier.

Him and his new wife have 4 kids combined. I sincerely hope that one of them grows up to show him another way, a better one.

Images of Virtue

I want to possess wisdom. In fact, I’d like my life to be marked by being wise – amongst many other things. I desire to make right decisions – consistently. I long to love others – perfectly. I long to know God – in such a way that only comes from a participation in the divine life. All virtues are summed up in the last – I believe, for I cannot truly be wise if it be not a Godly wisdom. I cannot make right choices if they be not from a Godly conscience. I cannot love wholly if my love does not pour directly out of Christ’s love for his Church and for all men.

The disheartening trend today is for men to exercise an image of virtue without knowledge of God – the creator of virtue itself. The experience of such an exercise is far from what it was designed to be. The desire for wisdom stems from a desire for self-exultation and recognition. The attempts to make right decisions exist only to skirt consequences. The longing to love others ‘perfectly’ is merely done as an act of Karma. “I will love another, so that they will love me in return.”

I cannot assume that those who continue to act in part have a longing to know more, nor can I assume that if they were to come to know more would they choose to embrace it.

I long to be wise, just, loving, and Godly. Where I am in the spectrum of things – I am certain I am incapable of judging.

This I know: the trend of empty virtue seems to prove itself not conducive to achieving the expected outcome of true virtue. Why, you ask? I would argue that most would agree that loving only in hopes for love in return is not true love, and in fact strayed very much from the definition of love itself. Also, that wisdom acquired for personal gain does not produce an outcome indicative of true wisdom. A wise decision for personal gain will come out at the expense of another. One cannot make a right decision if their understanding of rightness/truth is concerned with the consensus of the masses – for the crowds will lead them astray. One cannot become Godly if he does not take part in the life of God himself.

I wonder what those men would say if I told them that we can love without being loved in return. We can possess wisdom for a cause greater than our wretched selves. We can make decisions that are right and true whose only consequences are those that refine our souls if we allow them. What if I told them they too could, in fact, know and be known by the God who created wisdom, justice, and love?

No one can ask for more than this: To take part in the triune God – creator of heaven and earth, incarnate of the Holy Spirit and the Virgin Mary to be crucified for the sins of the world.